I remember being at Disney World when I was six years old.
In one of the souvenir shops, there was a beautiful princess dress modeled after
one in “Beauty and the Beast”. I quietly asked my grandfather if he thought I could
have it. He looked down at me and told me that no little girl needed a $100
dress to be a princess, and to him I would be a princess no matter what I wore.
I was not pleased with this answer, but did not argue because I knew it would
be fruitless. All the way home I thought about how badly I wanted that dress. I wanted the dress because I wanted to look
just like the princesses I had seen in the theme parks, and on TV, and in my
pre-school. My room, bedding, clothing, hair
accessories and dolls are revolved around the Disney princesses. My parents are WONDERFUL people and would go to
the moon and back for my sister and I. They let me choose many different paths
in life and have always supported my decisions. Having two little girls, they felt it was best
to give us fluffy, butterfly, fairy princess items because that is what girls “like”.
They wanted us to be accepted and have the things the other little girls in our
neighborhood had. So growing up, I was spoiled. This affected my sister
and I very differently. I was given a choice in what I liked, and as I grew
older I lost interest in materialistic things and began to appreciate
experiences with my family and friends more than shopping or playing dress up.
As my sister got older, she did not lose interest in having the “Princess Life”.
At 17, her room is modeled after the Victoria Secret’s “PINK” collection. Her
life revolves around shopping, beautifying and spending money to gain “happiness”.
I feel like she is only as satisfied as her last purchase, and I want to help
her get out of these habits before she leaves home. I noticed that many of her friends
and even girls my age fall into this and it concerns me. We need to start
teaching our children that life is so much more than materialistic things and that
children should be able to choose their own interests regardless of what they “should”
want.
Points to share: How did boys or people with brothers feel about this article? I had a toolbox when I was younger and my parents were pleased with my decision. I wonder how they would feel if I had been a boy who wanted a barbie dream house? Did any boys ask for "girl" toys and play with them?
Hello Marissa I enjoyed reading your blog post. I had a male cousin who was just a few months older than me and I had the tendency to do whatever he did. There was one time my cousin suggested that we play with dolls instead of the Tonka Trucks we normally played with. His stepfather overheard this and completely flipped out at us. He told my cousin that if I wanted to play with dolls I could play with them alone. According to him, it was okay for me to play with Tonka Trucks but it wasn't okay for my cousin to play with dolls. That was the only time he ever thought about playing with something that girls liked to play with for my sake.
ReplyDeleteAs for my take on the article I was indifferent I was raised in a gender-neutral environment and was probably one of the few girls who just wasn't into the whole Princess thing.
Hi Marissa! I loved your blog post and I love how you put in personal experiences. When me and my sister were little it was the same way, and I have somewhat grown out of it but my sister.. forget it. She always wants to look like everyone else in school, she wants to put on tons of makeup and dress in the cutest clothes. Minding you, she is only twelve so I hope that this phrase doesn't continue throughout her teenage years.
ReplyDeleteHey Marissa. I do not have any brothers but I did grow up with a lot of male friends. We would play house often and they would pretend to be the dad or brother. Although they were playing the male part, they did not abide by the set "masculine guidelines". They played with baby dolls and pretended to cook dinner. It was never an issue with mine or their parents that they played with dolls or other "feminine toys" at my house.
ReplyDeleteMarissa, I really liked your post! I had similar experiences to Kerri, I was able to play with male friends, but if we were playing house, I got to be the mom. Or if we were playing with trucks... I pretended we were playing house and I got to be the mom. I don't think there was ever an issue as to what game we were playing, because little girls have a way of making everything into house or school, even if they boys didn't know they were playing. Also, when you're younger, your friends are really just your parents' friend's kids. So, most of the time I think that our parents agree on topics such as if kids can play with toys meant for the opposite gender. I never had much of an issue.
ReplyDeleteMarissa, really great post! I can completely understand where you're coming from. My sister and I were raised the same and walk two completely different paths. She's a video gamer and doesn't have many friends. I, on the other hand, am more sociable. I find it really interesting how siblings can become complete opposites.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend in Kindergarten was a boy and we would always play house together or hang out at recess. He didn't really mind and enjoyed hanging out in the kitchen with me! I don't think what we do as youngins matter as much as Orenstein says.